Marriage Makes Me Fat

Marriage Makes Me Fat

It’s true. My state of newly-wed matrimonial bliss is at war with my waistline. And my thighs. I never thought it would happen to me. This girl was raised by a mother who taught her to say “base metabolic rate” and “high fructose corn syrup is evil” by the time she was eight. Those childhood lessons stayed with me and I grew to develop an awareness and respect for my body.

Somehow all that changed when I met Mr. Right. No, we haven’t morphed into Jabba the Hutts, or putrid and sickly sugar-addicts. But now my jeans don’t fit (and muffin-tops aren’t my style).

Grieving my loss of pre-marital slenderness, I discovered something encouraging: I am not alone. Countless bloggers and health articles write about “Love Chub” and post-aisle-walk weight gains. Even celebrities usually gain a few pounds after their marriages. Studies report that married couples are TWICE as likely to become obese than single people.

So it’s not just me. But that still doesn’t make it acceptable for me to ignore the scale and wear only boyfriend-style jeans and sweatshirts.

Thus, I have decided to compose a new set of standards for myself (Mr. Right isn’t getting off the hook either). Here are the best tips I’ve found:

1. Don’t sacrifice your workouts. Consider workouts an investment in your future.
2. Eat only when hungry (even if, like me, you enjoy baking and have a full cookie jar of triple chocolate chip coconut cookies).
3. “Portion control” = a woman’s body does not need the same size serving of homemade Pesto Peas Pasta as a man’s.
4. Remember that high fructose corn syrup is evil (Yes, that was my mother’s advice, but she’s right. Processed foods are worse for you).
5. Don’t keep unhealthy snack foods around the house.
6. Instead of sitting on the couch every night, go on active dates - cycling, walks, rock-climbing, tennis. Whatever works for you.
7. Look into supplements and healthy weight-loss aids (such as Natural Factors, PGX Daily Ultra Matrix 750 mg 120 softgels).
8. Set both short-term and long-term goals.
9. Encourage each other! Celebrate when you reach milestones (with something other than cake)
10. Don’t give up.

I will not become Jabba. I will not become Jabba.
Jabba Star Wars

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